I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize