please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
