The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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