i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i dont even know how to be here
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
