You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
