Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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(410): View more from Maryland

i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

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(702): View more from Nevada

What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs

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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?

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(980): View more from North Carolina

My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.

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(269): View more from Michigan

There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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(813): View more from Florida

I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.

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