JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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