Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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