i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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