Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
