he puts the penis in happiness.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The dick lei will go down in squad history
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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