Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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