the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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