I think I am morally bankrupt
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
