i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize