By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
