Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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