I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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