Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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