We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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