My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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