Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
