Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
