i barfeds in our rink
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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