I think I am morally bankrupt
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
