so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Let's get the cat blown out
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
