i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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