My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
