He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
