ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
