vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You're like the curious george of whores
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
