i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
