slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Sorry about my life...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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