Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
