I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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