On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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