I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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