You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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