So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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