i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
