The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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