I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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