maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
