Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
