My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just made out with a guy for $7.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
