My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
