Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
