mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
