I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
