i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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