the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
