your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize