guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
