yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
