at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize