I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
