Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
