I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
