were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
