Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
