I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
as a side note pls kill me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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