he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
