If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
