let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
